Marketing call this morning.
Archive for the 'AC work/travel' Category
I met Joshua (4) and Kevin (6) on the train today. They were pretty interested in my bike. Probably because it looks fancy. Apparently Kevin is getting one soon, it will be red with training wheels at first then he’s gonna take them off. Joshua is going to get a pink bike, even though it is for girls. Kevin is going to get a red, orange and blue bike. He is gonna get a rainbow bike. Joshua is going to get a green bike. And a blue bike.
Joshua said, “I like all my colors.”
Kevin said, “I like them too.”
I said, “I totally agree with you guys colors are ALL right.”
I discovered that there is a target about a mile form where I work. Target is an everything type of store, like Tesco when they sell clothes or K-mart (if it still exists). I decided to walk there to get an inner tube.
I wear these off-shore pretend Converse at work. If you walk two and half miles in them you get really really sore feet. They are so flat (edit: FLAT LIKE MY TIRE, HAHAHAHAHA). So if you get some fake Converse only use them to hang around the house or just to go next door.
I got a flat tire on my bicycle this morning. It was 8.30. My train leaves at 8.38. To cycle the remaining distance would have taken about two minutes. It took about eight minutes to get there on foot. When I got to the gate my monthly train pass was missing from my wallet.
That’s the way to do it!
UPDATE
New Jersey is covered by a layer of broken glass. That explains why I carry a flat tire kit with me. I had replaced the punctured inner tube, reinstalled my wheel and was pumping new air into the tire when I noticed something… The way I was holding the pump made it look like I was doing something dirty to myself. I moved to a less sexy looking pumping position and broke the valve of my replacement inner tube.
NOW THAT REALLY IS THE WAY TO DO IT!
A guy drives around in a Toyota Highlander smashing into people who have the same brand of car as him. The people are like, “Whoa! Hey! What is you problem buddy?”
He looks them in the eye and says, real quiet, “There can be only one.” Then he takes off and they are like, “Whoa, intense! Damn we didn’t get his insurance! Actually, let’s call some police.”
His name could be Michael J. Kurgon.
The movie could be called “The Toyota Smasher”
There is a man outside the train station most nights wearing headphones. He air raps, that is, he raps without making a sound, furiously. His moves are pretty good. I reckon he gets a lot of practice.
Talk to the thing the ears aren’t listening…
What is wrong with the people here that seem to actively hate bicycles and cyclists? Did they never learn how to ride? Did a cyclist cut them off in their SUV when they were going to Linen’N'Things? Do they think bicycles are anti-American? Seriously, I seem to get some kind of shit every other day from somebody because of my bike.
Well in terms of motorized vehicle vs bike I’m going to lose every time. They are faster, bigger and more dangerous than I will ever be. The thing is though, I’m not destroying the environment or killing people in accidents.
Shouldn’t people LIKE cyclists? Shouldn’t I get a badge or something instead of a shitty attitude and a dirty look?
EDIT: Further insight into the sad state of transportation here in the Greater NYC area. The Mayor is seen to be pro public transport. Seen to be
Two strangers, a man and woman both in their 50’s almost bumped heads on the train this morning. The woman chuckled, ” I thought you were going to kiss me or something.”
A good natured question back, “Is that an option?”
“Always” was the reply in a slightly darker tone, “Life is too short.”
As they exited the train the man said, “That would have been a great way to start the day.”
And it was, even without a kiss.
Yesterday, on my way home, everything was passing normal. I was really looking forward to getting home for very geeky reasons (let’s leave it at WOW and UI).
Just after the man looked at my train pass I noticed that something was leaking on my seat. It’s my bag. I open it and realise a whole bottle (500 ml) of Vitamin Water has spilt in my posey gaylord Crumpler bag.
I sat there uncomfortably for the next 45 minutes. Upon reaching my transfer station I emptied the contents of my bag into the garbage. Wow class guides, dripping with sweetened water and irony my posey gaylord McSweeny’s magazine, for some reason 100 loose T-pins and their ruined box.
Silently cursing all the while my face an arterial red.
The gate. The pocket check. The sodden bag of humiliation check. NO WALLET. Left on the left seat last most on the train to New York City.
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