Thing
This is a type of thing.
Updates from December, 2008 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts
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Adam Cavill
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Adam Cavill
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Adam Cavill
Just a Thought
Prominent murderer, O.J. Simpson, was sentenced to a lengthy jail term today. But not for murder.
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Adam Cavill
Looking For A Shirt? SHIRT SHIRT!!!!!!! GET SHIRT!
ALL of these bad boys could be yours for $3909.00. EVERY SINGLE ONE IS A HUMDINGER! You can get them here at Tuttle, every single one of them. You’ll will be walking down the street feeling so fine in one of your new shirts!
People will look at you and think, “What the f*ck is up with that guy? Did his Mom buy that shirt for him? Jesus it’s not even Christmas yet! Maybe he got it for Thanksgiving. What an ugly ass shirt.”
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Tiger Cavill
I just bought them all for you. Now you have three shirts to wear each day of the week and at the weekend you can wear 4 and a half shirts.
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Adam
My mom bought them all too.
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Adam Cavill
Failtars
I have 3 guitars and a bass at home. All very modest, A Squier Strat, A Squier Precision, a no name Chinese junker (it still has the Value Village price tag $49.99 in Canadian Pesos), and an Art & Lutherie Parlour Acoustic. I’m pretty happy with all of them. I do sometimes get guitar buying urges. For example I think that this Fifth Avenue Kingpin by Godin is probably very nice. Canadian wood, beautifully made, in black please, for Christmas.
There are much more puzzling guitars out there on the market. Almost a puzzling as Guitar Hero. Almost as puzzling as Rock Band.
Fender Joe Strummer Signature Telecaster Electric Guitar
Pre-distressing turns it into a guitar into a FAILTAR. It just does. If you wondering if it really is commodified here’s the answer:
It comes with a Sheperd Fairy graphics kit.
The Reverse Flying V
Should you do something just because you can? I think the answer to that question is right here in FAILTAR form.
WHY WHY WHY?
The only people who would buy this guitar are Canadian. Frank Soda, and Kim Mitchell. Oh wait! Maybe Rick Nielsen would. He’s from Chicago. That’s almost Canada. Maybe there’s some kind of wacky and undignified guitarist gene that mutates people when they listen to Frank Zappa.
I’d like to add that using FAIL in the way that I have sucks. Failure all round. For everyone.
BYE!
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CANADA
Dear Mr Cavill,
While the Reverse Flying V is an intriguing idea, we are currently embroiled in a constitutional crisis and we feel that the direction of the V must not enter the debate. As Mr Mitchell and Mr Soda are national treasures, largely for their contributions to the Rock Canon, they are also our leading constitutional experts, and their expertise, in this area, is very much need in this most dire time.
Respectfully yours,
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Adam Cavill
Dear Canada,
I am very sorry if I have distracted Mr. Soda or Mr. Mitchell from their duties with a crazy guitar. My only defense is that I did not invent them, they are real products that you can buy and therefore the damage has already been done.
Mr. Cavill USA!
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Adam Cavill
Promise
This is something that young men and women are told before they partake in insane actions on behalf of manipulative fanatics. Their real reward will be death, or imprisonment.
Are you upset about Mumbai? Or does it only hurt when it’s New York or London?
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Tigerlili Cavill
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kitty
where did you get that? I could watch sleeping puppies all day.
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Adam Cavill
How to Make Food
For some reason this is funny:
What an amazing invention!
Don’t make them.
You can also learn how to make bread
Don’t make it.
At least not like that.
thanks, bye!
CANADA are discussing. 
kitty is discussing. 
Baritone English Villain 9:11 am on December 19, 2008 Permalink |
I hate them too. Separately they make a good deal of sense, but joined by the ‘n’ turns them into twats. Maybe they should go for solo careers.