Small dogs in clothing
If a dog needs a coat, is it a dog?
If you have to carry a dog, is it a dog?
If you have to feed your icky wicky doggie with an icky sticky spoony, is it a dog?
If your little doggie shivers when it walks
Has a bizarre temperament, barks at shoes
If your little doggie makes runny messy-mess (which you don’t clean up on account of it being liquid) is it a dog?*
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So is it really a dog? Did you dock it’s tail? Does it have an Alessi feeding bowl and do you feed it organic kibble that you have moistened in your own mouth first?
Is it a dog? Or is it
AN ANOREXIC UGMO GNASHER POOPOOFIFI PIGBABY?
*Guess what I stepped in this morning?