A. Cavill

Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade

I think the main attraction of the legendary Macy’s parade seems to be that the giant balloons might a) pop or b) become possessed by The Supernatural Entity Known As Zuul*.

The parade itself has many setbacks. Firstly it is tasteless, and to top it off, utterly charmless. However it is camp as Christmas and garish as a go-go dancer so of course it is a big hit with Thanksgiving-drunk housewives and gay men everywhere. 

     

This pig was frightening. Every now and then there would be a focus on a float and someone, normally a very minor singing star would be singing a Christmassy song or an R&B song. Because R&B and a giant flying Garfield just sort of go together if you see what I mean.

 

These guys below were quite nice

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I think that if you wake up on Thanksgiving morning, you put this on in the background and then get drunk or whatever and laugh and point at the TV screen as the orange faced, slightly panicked commentators start to jabber on about the “Giant Pikachu which is twice the size of a T-Rex, Folks!”

And there are the big song and dance numbers. Cool.

Dancers….

Many Dancers…

MANY dancers. And they were elderly and they could still highkick.

Before you get excited thinking this was at all charming and lovely, let me tell you, the music was horrific even if the dancing was good.

 

I think it often rains for the parade and they soldier on through, getting these huge balloons out there. It’s a massive effort, and there have relatively few injuries. Supposedly. Retardo loves the parade and he started running around and giggling and then looking behind the TV screen to see if the parade was happening in the room.

But one of the problems is that the ballons do pop, and there has been a headless dinosaur, a killer woody woodpecker and a shrunken head Spiderman that have alarmed and disturbed children in years past.

Also in 1984, the Mister StayPuffed Marshmallow Man was indeed possessed by The Supernatural Entity Known as Zuul* and it took New Yorks finest Ghostbusters to take him down. Yes sir.

 

Anyway the whole thing, teenage R&B singers, giant Garfield, Dancing Grannies, Broadway show extracts, alarming orange commentators, the whole thing ends up with…

   

He who brings gifts to all lucky children except the starving children in third world countries who don’t get to celebrate Christmas and instead die without food or clean water.

* Also may be found in your Fridge.  

For more info about various Macy’s Parades over the years and because x-entertainment is funny as Hell

http://www.x-entertainment.com/thanksgiving/macyparade/1993/